LOVABLE VARREN GOES FROM HOME TO HOME, CHANGING LIVES
Citadel Weekly, Lifestyle
He has lived on Tuchanka, on Illium, and on the Citadel. He has battled in pit fights, assisted as a therapy animal for drell children with early-stage Kepral’s Sydrome, and was even, for a brief period of time, co-chair of Elkoss Combine. His current show-breed name is Prince Grimrender of Gembat, and in an investigative report, we explore the lives this lovable varren has touched–and changed.
Grimrender’s first appearance among humans was on the colony world of Feros, where he was one of the few friendly varren, according to reports. “We were going through a dark patch after the geth attacked,” colonist Davin Reynolds notes, “and a lot of us were feeling disconnected, like we didn’t know how to talk to each other anymore. We weren’t even sure this colony was going to survive. We were hunting for food, and I ran into this varren. I was sure it was going to attack me, but it just nuzzled my hand and led me to this dead alpha varren I hadn’t managed to find earlier–can’t imagine who killed it. Right then, I knew this colony was going to make it.”
Grimrender later spent time on Tuchanka, where a merchant who goes by “Ratch” remembers him fondly: “I’d lost most of my money in a deal on some bad Graal Spike Throwers, was about to lose my shop, and then this one varren growled at me… and I just knew it was telling me to bet on it in the next fight.” Grimrender reportedly won the match, and became a friendly fixture on Tuchanka for some time. Even after his retirement, Ratch reported that Grimrender helped protect his store, warning him of pyjak attacks so that Ratch could get help to drive off the aggressive scavengers. Grimrender also raised morale among visitors, nibbling pyjak meat and following tourists around the camp.
His exploits after Tuchanka are legendary. Grimrender reportedly protected a survivor from a crashed quarian ship by fending off attacking varren until help arrived, taught a greedy volus merchant the importance of caring for his friends, and helped provide a little inspiration for a salarian scientist who was having trouble cloning dinosaur mounts for krogan to use on planets with hostile atmospheres.
Most recently, Grimrender has touched the life of notorious businessman Thax Vorak, who won contests with Grimrender as a show-varren. Thax confides that the varren gave him a new outlook, and maybe even a new line of work. “After my evening was interfered with, my yacht stolen and crashed, and my health compromised, I was prepared to take significant steps against those involved. However, when I saw little Grimrender dragging that hapless human — Richards, I believe — through the pond, paddling with those little legs… I realized that there were things more important than vengeance. I’ve decided not to order anything done to the turian, the vorcha, even the attractive young human female. And I confess, that’s a big step for me.”
Although he is now retired from shows, Prince Grimrender of Gembat, who has gone by many names over the years, should still find a way to stay busy. At last reports, the varren has been put to stud to at McSorley’s Cloaca Margarine, a varren dairy that is currently in danger of going out of business…unless a particularly virile varren can help change lives there, too.